My hips don't lie

...They couldn't lie. They hurt too much to think up a good whopper. Oh, pregnancy sciatica, how much fun you are. Making sure I exercise regularly helps, as do hip & lower back stretches, warm baths, sleeping with my Snoogle pillow, and begging Dave to rub my back, but it never goes away completely. Still, it's worth it every time I feel Thorberta kick.

About a week and a half ago, I took the required 2nd trimester gestational diabetes test. I flunked - not badly, but by a small margin. The cutoff for taking a second test is around 140, which isn't THAT high to begin with IMO, but better safe than sorry. So, I had to take the three hour fasting test. For three days beforehand, I was required to eat my regular diet PLUS an extra serving of carbs with each meal, which made me feel really logy and gross. I like carbs, but not that much. Yuck. Then, the night before the test, you stop eating at midnight and can only have a little water in the morning. Then you go to the doctor's office and they take your blood, then you drink the lovely lovely glucose drink again, which tastes like the illegitimate child of orange soda, Kool-Aid, and a jar of sugar. It makes me feel seriously nauseous. You get to sit in the office waiting room for 3 hours, with them taking another blood sample every hour to see how the levels change. No water during this time, which stunk, because my doctor's waiting room is WARM.

I flunked that test, too. Ugh. Given my Toews family history of Type 2 diabetes, plus my weight and autoimmune diseases, this isn't surprising. It is frustrating, since I still have only gained 4 lbs the entire pregnancy (all of which is baby + amniotic fluid + placenta) and all bloodwork etc up to this point has been textbook perfect.

So, starting Wednesday evening, I gave up desserts. I had a farewell bowl of cookies and ice cream, and nothing since. Hungry? Snack on fruits or veggies. Starting today, I began keeping a food diary to take to my first ever nutritionist appointment, along with a list of all medications and vitamins I currently take.

Please, everyone, pay attention to this next bit, which I am trying my hardest to say kindly and politely through this fog of pregnancy hormones: Let me say that I would greatly, greatly appreciate NO further lectures or advice on gestational diabetes/diet/exercise, unless I specifically ask you for it. I may be overweight, but I am not stupid. I know what portion sizes are. I know what foods are healthy, and what aren't (as opposed to someone who's genuinely surprised to find out that WonderBread and fried chicken are bad for you). I know exercise is beneficial, and Ben & Jerrys (though delicious) is not beneficial. I don't need a lecture, however nicely it is phrased or disguised as "advice". I don't need pitying looks. I don't need tips and stories about how your friend had gestational diabetes and gave birth to a 12 pound baby, etc etc. I am bound and determined to control this with diet and exercise, not insulin or medications.

I'll be saying farewell to desserts for the remainder of the pregnancy and eating so healthfully it would put a nutritionist to shame, except for the VERY occasional treat and the cake I'm sure will be served at my baby shower in Walla Walla. Please, don't talk to me about this any more: I know you care about me and the baby, which I am incredibly grateful for, but I don't want to snap at you without meaning to. I have enough to focus on at the moment, and I have enough hormones running through me to make an elephant start PMSing. Your well-intentioned advice would, most likely, be met with me losing it and yelling something unrepeatable at you that I'd deeply and sincerely regret. I would MUCH rather stay friends with you all!!!!

Now, who wants to join me for a nice salad?